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Day 2: Seeking the Holy Spirit

“The spirit of God, who raised Jesus from the dead, lives in you.” ‒ Romans 8:11 (NIV)

This is one of my favorite verses and yet I still find myself trying to comprehend it. The spirit lives in me? Is this even possible? In late February, I attended a prayer retreat in Missouri with some dear friends. I found myself sitting in the worship center that Wednesday feeling angry, sad, defeated—just awful. I saw everybody else smiling, praying, and worshiping with their hands up. Then there was me—sitting with my arms crossed wearing a big frown. I remember thinking, “What are they experiencing that I’m not? Should I leave? Am I even good enough to be here? God, why aren’t You moving in me like You are in everyone else? How am I a ministry leader? I’m surely not good enough to do that.”

This was an all-time spiritual low for me. But, God had a plan! At dinner, a worship leader spoke directly to my heart. I can’t even remember what she said, but God knew what I needed. I arrived at dinner crying and left smiling. The enemy tried REALLY hard to fill me with darkness that day, but God’s light shined through! This was a ground-breaking spiritual experience for me. After dinner and some more praying with dear friends, I realized the enemy was trying to hide the Holy Spirit! The enemy was fighting hard to make me feel worthless, but God led me to experience the Holy Spirit. He used a prayer retreat with a group of incredible woman in my life to lead me.

Have an open heart. The enemy can be quite convincing, he sure was for me. Everyday, ask God to shine his light into you- it will shun the enemies darkness! Do you feel empty? Like something is missing? I challenge you to ask for the outpouring of the Holy Spirit.

- Blair Smith

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