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Day 17: Changing My Mindset

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.” ‒ Philippians 4: 6 (NIV)

I grew up with the mindset that something will always go wrong because I grew up in a world where everything was broken. Our home didn’t have a front door handle or lock. We lived in a rough neighborhood where living past age 18 was viewed as a bonus. My parents’ marriage was broken. Relationships were fractured by drug use and alcohol abuse. Everyone around me was a liar, cheater, or thief.

I chased people out of my life in fear that they were going to hurt me. At work, I worried I was going to get in trouble. I worried that someone would try to take my children away. During those years, I didn’t pray much. In fact, I simply acknowledged God’s existence and didn’t have a relationship with Him.

In June 2016, I was up for a new job assignment. I would ultimately choose staying in my current location or moving to Washington, DC. I decided to stay in my current location so I wouldn’t have to repeat the mediation process with my children’s mother to review and reset the custody agreement.

I recall crying one night asking God what He wanted from me. Side note: When you ask for a word from God, you will receive a word from God (at the appropriate time, of course). My answer came when my detailer said staying was the wrong choice and I should move to DC. Now, I see God didn’t want something from me; He wanted something for me! In DC, I learned I have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder with severe anxiety, and medication would help. I also found a church that God has used to reach and teach me about how He wants to bless others through me.

My life has changed in a way that could only be done by God. I was a nervous wreck on the verge of falling over the edge, when God said, “Enough, I want you here so you can figure this out.” He literally took away my plan and set me back in the center of the path He had for me. I often joke that God got tired of waiting on me and decided to do it Himself! Now, my life is where God always planned it to be.

When you pray, have faith that He will answer, according to His plan. Be thankful when you pray, knowing that God will give you peace.

- Shaun Hamilton